I thought I’d take a bit of time a share a day in
the life of business travel. Sometimes we’re fortunate to get an
upgrade to first class but other days the plane doesn’t have a first
class cabin, you’re number one on the list and the
cabin fills up or the partner airline doesn’t extend first class
privileges. Today is one of those days of no upgrade.
Let me set the scene for you. I’m in Laredo. It’s
hot, and I mean hot – 105 degrees and humid! We’re wrapping up two
days of meetings with about 30 of my colleagues and it is time to head
to the airport. Of course we can’t seem to locate
everyone that’s riding in my vehicle (imagine herding cats, in the
heat!). We finally head for the airport about 20 minutes behind
schedule but no worries. We’re all seasoned travelers, have boarding
passes on our phones, have TSA Pre-Check privileges and after
all, Laredo only has three gates in the airport for goodness sakes. We
should be fine, right? Oh, the fun begins.
We get inside (anxious to get out of the 105 degree
temps) and notice that the cold breeze of air conditioning isn’t in
the air. Furthermore, colleagues that left 20 minutes before us are
waiting in the line where you check bags. What’s
going on? We walk on over and Jim advises that the power is out, all
systems are down and we all need to wait in line for a boarding pass.
Okay, I’m a seasoned traveler. I can roll with this. We wait in line
together chatting it up to pass the time. There
is this one woman who comes up with a large suitcase and walks past us
demanding her place back in line (apparently she thinks she can get out
of line and get free “comesy backsy” privileges). Whatever, again, we
do this travel thing around 40 weeks a year.
Once this woman gets to the front of the line she drops her stuff and
runs out the door. We all turn and watch… here she comes again with
more bags and child carseats (ugh, the dreaded sign of children on the
plane, young children).
I finally get to the front of the line, show my
electronic boarding pass and ID to the agent and am told to proceed to
security. Remember, the power is out, it is 105 degrees outside and no
air conditioning (apparently they either don’t
have a generator or it wasn’t working). I try not to check my bag when
I travel so I’ve got it along with a stuffed laptop bag (all legal, one
fits in the overhead and the other under the seat – just a bit heavy).
No electricity means no escalator so up
the stairs I go, luggage in tow. I get to the front of the security
line and guess what? The TSA agent can’t read my electronic boarding
pass! So, back down the stairs I go (again, luggage in hand) and back
into the line for the ticket agent (no, I didn’t
try to cut and was about tenth in line). By the way, the woman who had
the mounds of luggage is still there checking in and it turns out she is
not only traveling with children but three of them. Her grandmother is
traveling with her as well but neither seem
to have control of the children (all under the age of four I’m
guessing). They are running everywhere and screaming when they are
caught. Great, they are going to be on my plane. Just a fashion tip,
older women who are overly large really don’t pull off
overly bedazzeled jeans very well. Okay, maybe at this point the heat
and all is beginning to get to me.
I’m starting to get a bit nervous about the time
that has passed but finally get to the front and am given a piece of
paper that has clearly been photocopied a thousand times. My name, the
date and flight number are hand written on the paper along
with the dreaded words “open seating”. I haul my luggage back up the
steps, get back to that lovely TSA agent and finally get through
security, but wait. I’m on the border so there is Border Security to
get though (those are the better looking agents in
the green uniforms with the guns and the badges). The agent asks me
where I was born. It took me a moment but I came up with the correct
answer. So, onto the security screening. I have TSA pre-check so no
big deal right? Not so fast. By the way, if you
are wondering how they powered the x-ray machine, baggage screening
machine and a fan (to keep the TSA agents cool) they had it hooked up to
a battery.
I politely ask the screener if I have to remove my
shoes, liquids, etc. since I have TSA Pre-Check. She tells me no as
long as I can prove it. I pull out my electronic boarding pass that
shows this but am told that since the TSA agent
couldn’t scan it I will have to go through regular scanning. Really,
how else do you want me to “prove” this? Oh well, breath… I go through
the x-ray and of course a couple of spots show up as questionable (and
no, it wasn’t a strand of pearls this time).
I turn around to see where I’m going to be checked (knee and wrist). I
realize the brilliant screener who wouldn’t let me go through as
Pre-Check also checks the wrong wrist. Wow!
Okay, I’ve made it through security. We find out our
plane is running a bit late, so what do you do when you are on your way
home and waiting for your plane? Grab a beer with your friends. Not
so fast, the bar is closed! After a couple
of moments of disbelief we all head over toward our gate. We start
chatting about this “open seating” situation and decide we should go
stand in the boarding line in hopes of seats towards the front as we all
have connections (and our plane is running late).
The plane arrives but we never see any passengers come through the
door. Then it dawns on us, no power means no jetway. A gate agent
arrives with two sheets of papers listing our names. Somehow they
managed to print this out but it doesn’t look like a normal
manifest. It is in alphabetical order (I’m good at reading upside
down) but apparently the gate agent doesn’t excel in alphabetical
skills. I get checked off the list and head through the doors to board
the plane. No power and no jetway means another flight
of stairs (with luggage in hand). Down we go and out into that humid
105 degree temperature. I drop off my larger bag on the outside cart
(plane holds 45 passengers) and board the plane. My assigned seat is 3C
so I head for it. Fortunately, a co-worker
is seated next to me (someone I know, not annoying and can carry on a
conversation with if we choose to). No power means no air conditioning
on the plane while we’re on the ground and “open seating” means it takes
longer to board the plane. The flight attendant
explained (several times) if a person had an assigned seat and can
prove it (with that electronic boarding pass that got me nowhere earlier
as an example) then it is their seat. Finally, we all get a seat
(including two people we knew that were flying stand-by).
All is well, right?
Apparently the lack of power impacts the pre-flight
check process. I don’t know why but I’m certainly hoping that the
Traffic Control Tower has a working back-up generator. All of the
sudden the pilot explains to the flight attendant that
we have a weight distribution issue (not uncommon on a small commuter
plane). She headed to row four (right behind us) and says that three
people between row four and seven have to move to the back of the
plane. The nice quiet couple behind us volunteer
along with someone else. Guess who moved right behind us? Yep! Great
Grandma, mom and the brood of unruly children. Grandma sat down behind
me and proceeded to pull my seat multiple times and put her knees in my
back. But that was nothing compared to the
kicks we received from the children (hair pulling too). Neither could
keep the kids in their seats so they ran around the plane. The flight
attendant kept catching them and bringing them back throughout the
flight. Remember, the bar was closed in the airport
so at this point we’re waiting for the beverage cart. Guess what? No
ice! I opted for a glass of water and leaning forward in my seat in
order to avoid the kicks in the back. At this point my co-worker and I just started
laughing. I work for a German company and
the co-worker I’m seated next to happens to be German. We chat about
an article in the paper that shows wheels on a mining machine about
three times the height of a normal human. The flight attendant stops by
to ask what language the paper is in and we tell
her German. She seems completely confused how we can read a paper in
German and converse in English (I don't read German by the way).
Thankfully it is finally time to land in Dallas.
Since most people on the flight are connecting the flight attendant runs
through the list of connecting gates. You know how it goes, it is
always alphabetical (Albany, etc.). Clearly this
girl did not graduate with honors in geography (or at least the
pronouncing of cities). Her challenges included Guadalajara, Lubbock
and Tucson, wow!
We arrived in Dallas a bit late, but fortunately on
time to make connections. Yes, changes in gates occurred and such but
that’s stuff we roll with every day. On my second flight I finally was
able to enjoy that well deserved cocktail.
Of course today was one of those days without an upgrade so you can see
the spacious and glamorous set-up I have going. Cheers everyone!
